WHY WON’T THEY LISTEN TO ME?

Ever found yourself asking this sort of question?

At work?

In school?

At home?

With your children? (How many times before 8am on an average morning?!)

I’ve seen time and time again that the number one thing we can do if we want others to listen to us more, is to get better at listening to them.

If I’m getting triggered by people not listening to me, this is a great invitation to get curious about how I’m doing with listening to people.

Not everyone is open to these ideas, but because you’re reading this blog, I’m guessing you already know that listening is crucial to all relationships, and that when it comes to relationships, there’s more going on than meets the eye.

In workplaces, schools and homes, the exact same principles apply.

Which means that a few simple shifts can positively impact ALL of our relationships.

You may already have heard me share about how losing my mum recently has brought into sharp focus for me the fact that every day here is a gift.

That’s one reason I’m prioritising getting better at listening to my loved ones, and I know I will never regret that.

If you’re curious to join me in this exploration, here’s a simple experiment to play with (with loads of kindness towards yourself)…

Next time you’re with someone who you feel doesn’t listen to you as well as you’d like them to, make it your job to listen to them.

And here’s a tip: rather than trying to get better at listening, assume you are always listening, and ask yourself instead,

“What am I listening to?”.

Often what we are really listening to is our own thoughts about what the other person is saying. Which means that, by definition, we am not fully present to what they are saying.

And when we bring awareness to this, it can be surprising how much better we get at listening, really listening in order to understand someone else’s world.

There’s nothing that needs to be forced.

It’s powerful just to start to notice what we are actually listening to.

I love the topic of listening and have loads to share about it, so look out for more experiments over the coming weeks.

And if you have a play with the experiment, I’d love to hear how it goes!

#listening #relationships #wellbeing #productivity #education