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What a school trip video taught me about paradox
A mentor of mine once said that there are no paradoxes in reality, and that they exist only in the human mind.
I filed it away, thinking “nice idea but, really?”.
It struck me recently while watching video footage from my daughter’s school trip to a village in Malawi.
Local men and women were performing a traditional dance for the visitors.
Men wore trousers, shirts and ties and they wore a traditional garment over these clothes to perform the dance.
Women wore western style dresses with smart shoes, and they wore beautiful traditional printed cloth garments over them to perform.
My mind saw this as a paradox and had a fair bit to say about the paradox.
My mentor’s words occurred to me as I caught my mind mid-judgement. I let my mind do its thing, and I relaxed back into watching the performance.
I found myself moved by the singing and dancing and the connections of the performances to the ancestral lineage of the performers. It was really something, and I was only watching video footage shared in a WhatsApp group.
I've no idea whether the dancers would have seen it as a paradox at all. That's not mine to say. But something had really landed with me, in the most unexpected way.
Both things can be.
Only a mind would say otherwise.
Life is unfolding and what is, is.
Here are some examples, from real coaching conversations I’ve had, of things people have realised in the “both things can be” domain.
I can be all that is, and I can identify with ego.
There can be no paradoxes in nature and a mind can see paradoxes.
I can love my children with all my heart and I can yearn for the freedom that comes with having no dependents.
I can love my work and I can want a break from it.
I can want something with all my heart and not want to do what I would need to do to have it.
Both things can be. No paradox. It just is.
The more we allow space for this, the more we can just be in life. And the more we are in life, the better life gets.
These examples are, as I said, from real coaching conversations I’ve had with people. It’s one thing to read about them and quite another to realise them for yourself through insight. I often describe the coaching I offer as less coaching and more guiding people into a space where insight is highly likely. There’s usually laughter and sometimes tears while we’re hanging out there too, and all of it is welcome.
By insight I mean seeing for yourself something more true than what looked true up until now. Insight is powerful because it takes the effort out of creating change in your life. If you're curious about this, you might want to take advantage of a free 30-minute reset – the best way to be notified when these come up for booking is via my newsletter which you can get here.
