What stops us listening to each other?

I have a question for you:

If you knew that it would improve all your relationships and make life more beautiful, would you want to get better at listening to others?

If we’re really honest (this is for all of us, me too), what is often called listening may be better described as waiting for our turn to speak. Would you like to hear a few examples of things I've found myself doing while supposedly listening to someone else?

1. Scanning my memory bank for something that relates to what the other person is saying so that I can share it when it’s my turn to speak. (First date memories anyone?!)

2. Planning a response that I hope will make me come across in a certain way. (Ever done this at work, to try and prove you know what you’re talking about?)

3. Formulating the “good advice” I’m going to give, perhaps even interrupting because I’m sure I know best. (As a parent, I’ve learned the hard way that this never goes well!)

4. Deciding whether I agree with what the other person is saying, or making a judgement about the other person or myself in relation to what they’re saying. (Usually involving me being better or worse than the other person - yuck!)

Now I have another question for you…

In any of these examples, how much of my attention is available to really listen to the other person?

I’ve noticed that I cannot really connect with the other person when stuff like this is going on, because I am more interested in what my own mind is saying than I am in getting an understanding of the other person’s world. We all do these things sometimes, and it’s amazing how things can start to shift just from bringing awareness to them.

Even a slight increase in how well we listen to others results in stronger relationships and a completely different experience of other people.

I know the exponential impact that clearing up a simple misunderstanding has had on my capacity to listen to others, and the beautiful results of this in my work and relationships, especially as a parent.

Clearing up this misunderstanding does the same for everyone who stays in this conversation long enough to see it for themselves (if you’re reading this, you too are in this conversation).

If you’re curious about this, great. I’ve created a free short audio course where I share exactly what has made the difference when it comes to listening and relationships. It’s just four short audios, about 5 minutes each, that you can listen to anywhere, as many times as you like. You can access it here.

#SeeClearly #Listening #Relationships #Parenting